sports jokes
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American And Mexican Fisherman
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, "Only a little while." The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs." The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; Eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise."
The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?" To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years." "But what then?" asked the Mexican. The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions." "Millions?...Then what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
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Heaven playing sports
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.
"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."
"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."
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"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."
"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."
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Mixed football jokes
A burglary was recently committed at West Ham's ground and the entire contents of the trophy room were stolen. The police are looking for a man with a claret & blue carpet.
The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
Apparently, Harry Redknapp offered to send the West Ham squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.
Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.
"I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned.
The Nottingham Forest Chairman is considering replacing Big Ron with Steve Davis. Explaining this unusual move, he said "we don't just need points now, we need snookers!"
British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.
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The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Charlton are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.
"Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" cries George.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."
Apparently, Harry Redknapp offered to send the West Ham squad on an expenses paid holiday to Florida but they said they'd rather go to Blackpool so they could see what it's like to ride on an open-top bus.
Big Ron was caught speeding on his way to the City Ground today.
"I'll do anything for 3 points", he said when questioned.
The Nottingham Forest Chairman is considering replacing Big Ron with Steve Davis. Explaining this unusual move, he said "we don't just need points now, we need snookers!"
British Rail have decided to start sponsoring Forest. BR think they are a suitable team because of their regular points failures.
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I want to buy a golf ball
A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.
Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.
As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"
"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"
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Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.
The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.
As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"
"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"
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Is he a good dentist?
A couple of old guys were golfing when one said he was going to Dr. Taylor for a new set of dentures in the morning.
His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?"
"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."
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His friend remarked that he had gone to the same dentist a few years before. "Is that so?" the first said. "Did he do a good job?"
"Well, I was on the course yesterday when the fellow on the ninth hole hooked a shot," he said. "The ball most have been going 200 mph when it hit me in the stomach. That," he added, "was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."
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Golfing with an older man
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."
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To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."
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Do at a bowling alley
Things to do at a Bowling Alley
Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
Wear Golf Shoes.
Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.....fish.
Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers.
Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted.
Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours.
Root for the other team- Bring Banners.
Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce.
Tell the rival team captain that you just met his "little girl" walk away mumbling "how bad things happen"
Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments
Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE
Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.
Rent all the lanes, don't bowl
Rent all the shoes, eat them
Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating
When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home.
If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics
Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone
Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers...leave town
Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night
Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling
Name your ball something like "KILLER", Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night
Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn.
Bring a dartgun...Be inventive.
Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.
Run around sprinkling "MAGIC FAIRY DUST" on everyone's balls. Tar works nice.
Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10,000 and a Porshce 2nd Prize: $5,000 and a trip to Europe 1st Prize: A coffee mug Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave or Cancel the whole thing.
Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics.
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Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
Wear Golf Shoes.
Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.....fish.
Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers.
Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted.
Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours.
Root for the other team- Bring Banners.
Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce.
Tell the rival team captain that you just met his "little girl" walk away mumbling "how bad things happen"
Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments
Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE
Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.
Rent all the lanes, don't bowl
Rent all the shoes, eat them
Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating
When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home.
If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics
Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone
Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers...leave town
Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night
Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling
Name your ball something like "KILLER", Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night
Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn.
Bring a dartgun...Be inventive.
Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.
Run around sprinkling "MAGIC FAIRY DUST" on everyone's balls. Tar works nice.
Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10,000 and a Porshce 2nd Prize: $5,000 and a trip to Europe 1st Prize: A coffee mug Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave or Cancel the whole thing.
Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics.
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New rules for bowling
Supplemental Rules for Bowling
If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".
When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.
After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.
When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.
After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".
If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.
A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
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If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs".
When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance.
After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames.
When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule.
After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair".
If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized.
A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.
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Murphy's nartial laws
Murphy's Laws of Martial Arts
Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts:
The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.
The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.
The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick.
The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.
If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.
After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.
After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.
In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.
No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.
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Ten scientific principles that apply to the study of all martial arts:
The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.
The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.
The day you leave work early to make it to class on time, the sensei will be sick.
The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.
If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.
After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.
After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.
In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.
No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.
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Destroy an opponent
The Center for Opponent Neutralization (C.O.N.)
Tonya Harding Presents...
Get tired every softball season loosing to the same team with all the big sluggers year in and year out?
Are you tired of always getting beat 6-0, 6-0 by that arrogant tennis-playing friend of yours with his killer serve?
Haven't you had enough of that annoying golf buddy who always seems to shoot in the low 80's against you?
Just tired of always loosing to someone better than you? Let us do the dirty work for you at the......
Tonya Harding Center For Opponent Neutralization
That's right, for a small fee we can rough up, maim, dismember, paralyze, or even kill that person or persons who are blocking your path to athletic success.
Check out our price list:
Remember, wednesdays are bonus days, order one act of violence and receive another of equal or lesser value at 50% off!
With every order over $300.00 you automatically receive a collapsible hard plastic baton personally signed by Tonya Harding herself - just like the one used to beat the crap out of Nancy Kerrigan.
To order, call toll-free at 1-800-just-win
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Tonya Harding Presents...
Get tired every softball season loosing to the same team with all the big sluggers year in and year out?
Are you tired of always getting beat 6-0, 6-0 by that arrogant tennis-playing friend of yours with his killer serve?
Haven't you had enough of that annoying golf buddy who always seems to shoot in the low 80's against you?
Just tired of always loosing to someone better than you? Let us do the dirty work for you at the......
Tonya Harding Center For Opponent Neutralization
That's right, for a small fee we can rough up, maim, dismember, paralyze, or even kill that person or persons who are blocking your path to athletic success.
Check out our price list:
Blow to the knee............................. $99.95 Blow to both knees (a better buy)............ $149.95 Blow to the head............................. $124.95 Knife in the back (tennis players only)...... $49.95 Kick in the groin (male athletes only)....... $9.95 Poking out one eye........................... $49.95 Poking out both eyes (three stooges style)... $79.95 Gun shot to the knee......................... $199.95 Gun shot to both knees....................... $299.95 Gun shot to the head......................... $499.95 Impalement in a public place................. $999.95Prices subject to change without notice.
Remember, wednesdays are bonus days, order one act of violence and receive another of equal or lesser value at 50% off!
With every order over $300.00 you automatically receive a collapsible hard plastic baton personally signed by Tonya Harding herself - just like the one used to beat the crap out of Nancy Kerrigan.
To order, call toll-free at 1-800-just-win
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I did all of that?
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes," the golfer responded.
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"
"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...
"I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
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"Yes," the golfer responded.
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"
"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...
"I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
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Do at a bowling alley
Things to do at a Bowling Alley
Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
Wear Golf Shoes.
Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.....fish.
Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers.
Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted.
Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours.
Root for the other team- Bring Banners.
Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce.
Tell the rival team captain that you just met his "little girl" walk away mumbling "how bad things happen"
Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments
Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE
Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.
Rent all the lanes, don't bowl
Rent all the shoes, eat them
Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating
When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home.
If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics
Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone
Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers...leave town
Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night
Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling
Name your ball something like "KILLER", Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night
Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn.
Bring a dartgun...Be inventive.
Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.
Run around sprinkling "MAGIC FAIRY DUST" on everyone's balls. Tar works nice.
Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10,000 and a Porshce 2nd Prize: $5,000 and a trip to Europe 1st Prize: A coffee mug Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave or Cancel the whole thing.
Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics.
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy.
Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation.
Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire.
Wear Golf Shoes.
Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices.
Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling.
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again
Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened.
Bring full angling gear, ask how they're biting.....fish.
Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off.
Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers.
Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted.
Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours.
Root for the other team- Bring Banners.
Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce.
Tell the rival team captain that you just met his "little girl" walk away mumbling "how bad things happen"
Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments
Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE
Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it.
Rent all the lanes, don't bowl
Rent all the shoes, eat them
Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating
When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home.
If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics
Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone
Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm.
SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers...leave town
Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night
Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling
Name your ball something like "KILLER", Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night
Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn.
Bring a dartgun...Be inventive.
Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref.
Run around sprinkling "MAGIC FAIRY DUST" on everyone's balls. Tar works nice.
Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10,000 and a Porshce 2nd Prize: $5,000 and a trip to Europe 1st Prize: A coffee mug Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave or Cancel the whole thing.
Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics.
Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad
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