A large family, with seven children, moved to a new city. They were having a difficult time finding an apartment to live in. Many apartments were large enough, but the landlords objected to the large family. After several days of searching, the father asked the mother to take the four younger children to visit the cemetery, while he took the older three to find an apartment.

After they had looked most of the morning they found a place that was just right. Then the landlord asked the usual question: "How many children do you have?" The father answered with a deep sigh, "Seven...but four are with their dear mother in the cemetery."

He got the apartment.

Once a young woman married a very wealthy man they lived

many happy years until after about 10 years he passed away,

of course leaving her a very wealthy widow.

Still being young after her husband had been dead a few years

she met an actor they married and she saw many broadway shows,

many of which he was the star, they traveled but after they’d

been married about 10 years he too passed away. This was 2

husbands she had to bury.

Still being a young woman of about 40, she began going to

church. She met their new pastor they fell in love and married,

unfortunately after a few years he to passed away. Well this

is her 3rd husband she’d had to bury.

Again still being a desirable woman she met a wonderful man,

he was a mortician. After they’d been married about 5 years,

she took ill and she passed away.

Some people say…that she married 1 for the money, 2 for the

show 3 to get ready and 4 to GO…

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol

on his breath and lipstick on his collar. “I assume,� she

snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come

waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?�

“There is,� he replied. “Breakfast.�

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

A man inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."

"I know" said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."

Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Men Fall Catalogue