"Doctor," said Mrs. GreU, "are bran flakes really healthy?"

"Well," replied the dim-witted physician, "I've never had to treat one."

Q: Why do watermelons contains so much water?

A: They're planted in the spring.

Q: What side of a peach is the left one?

A: The uneaten side.

The pharmacist proudly showed Mr. Thompson his newest product. "It's an apple that tastes like pussy."

Curious, Mr. Thompson took a bite; he spat violently. "Pussy? This thing tastes like shit!"

The pharmacist flushed and turned it around. "Sorry," he said, "you bit the wrong side."

Religious Debate (adult)

The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe, to represent them in the debate. Rabbi Moishe, however, could not speak Latin and the Pope could not speak Yiddish. So it was decided that this would be a "silent" debate.

On the day of the great debate, the Pope and Rabbi Moishe sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

Rabbi Moishe looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

Rabbi Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope then brought out a communion wafer and chalice of wine.

Rabbi Moishe pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and said, "I concede the debate. This man has bested me. The Jews can stay."

Later, the Cardinals gathered around the Pope, asking him what had happened.

The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us of our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community crowded around Rabbi Moishe, asking what happened. "Well," said Moishe, "first he said to me, 'You Jews have three days to get out of here.' So I said to him, 'Up yours'. Then he tells me the whole city would be cleared of Jews. So I said to him, 'Listen here Mr. Pope, the Jews ... we stay right here!"

"And then?" asked a woman.

"Who knows?" said Rabbi Moishe. "We broke for lunch." Send Free SMS To Any Mobile In INDIA or broad

And the shopper who stopped buying Kool-Aid because she couldn't figure out how to get two quarts of water into the envelope.

Ida confided to her close friend, "My cooking left my husband cold."

"He divorced you?"

"No," she replied, "he died."

Q: Why did the fig go out

Q: Why did the fig go out with a prune?

A: It couldn't find another date.